George Carlin’s dirtiest word: taxes

Written By Unknown on Minggu, 15 Desember 2013 | 23.16

In 2001, writer Larry Getlen conducted a five-hour interview with comedian George Carlin, who died in 2008. The result is the new e-book, "Conversations with Carlin: An In-Depth Discussion with George Carlin about Life, Sex, Death, Drugs, Comedy, Words, and So Much More," which shows why Carlin was one of the funniest — and most controversial — satirists of our time. In this excerpt, Carlin explains how being broke made him better.

When did you first realize the power of words to offend?

I used to collect the most colorful curses I heard in my neighborhood and write them down. I actually carried, in my wallet, things like "kraut c***," and, "burly loudmouth c***s***er," and "longhair f***ing music p***k," which was a thing Mikey Flynn yelled at a Juilliard student that he was kicking in the head. He called him a "longhair f***ing music p***k." There's a certain rhythm and beauty in that phrase. "Burly loudmouth c***s***er" has a kind of rhythm to it, too. That was a description of a top sergeant one guy gave. So I noticed that these were attractive-sounding things, and funny, because they broke all the rules. So I wrote them down to save them. I was about 13, and my mother found them in the wallet — she was a snoop — and I overheard her later, talking to my uncle, saying, "I think he needs a psychiatrist." I knew beforehand that these words were forbidden or I wouldn't have been writing them down, but I kinda realized the effect that this little hobby had on her to offend. I always knew, when they told you you shouldn't use them, that they were gonna offend someone.

Describe the feeling of being arrested because of a use of words. [Note: George was arrested after a 1972 performance and charged with public indecency because of the content of his routine.]

It was great. That was in Milwaukee, at an outdoor festival called Summerfest. The thing that makes it murky is that while I was onstage, a couple of my denim jacket pockets had cocaine in them, in various little vials and baggies. I didn't know that the cops were backstage and were going to arrest me for this verbal offense. So my wife came out on stage under the pretense of bringing me a pitcher of water, and she said, "When you go offstage, go off to the right. The police are on the left, and they're going to try and arrest you." So when I went off, I went off to the right, and I gave all the drugs to the band. [The cops] would have loved to have added [a drug charge] to it.

That might have even been at the bottom of their thinking. I was so full of relief that I hadn't been arrested for dope that I just thought [the rest of it] was kind of goofy. They had six policemen escorting me away for a verbal offense. I just thought that was disproportionate and kinda silly and interesting and exciting, because obviously it would be in the newspaper.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?

The stupidest thing I ever did was because of my abuse of drugs, I neglected my business affairs to the point where I had large arrears with the IRS, and that took me about 18-20 years to dig my way out of.

The amount [I owed] was high, and they kept discovering things they would disallow a couple of years after I found out about the first indebtedness. They kept finding things. The interest and the penalties were high, and it was also during a period of 70% taxation, which was quickly reduced to 50% when they did that first reduction. So I had to go out and earn money just to keep my home and hearth together, and to pay my business expenses.

Starting with that, 50 cents of every dollar was already gone after expenses, and I owed all this other money that was accumulating interest and penalties, and I haven't even bought a cheeseburger yet. My wife had a lot of anger about the business managers who rolled over my IRS amount and didn't sufficiently explain it to us. But because I was complicit in this, I accept the responsibility, and I paid it dutifully.

But I'll tell you what it did for me, Larry, and this is the way to look at life. It made me a way better comedian, because I had to stay out on the road, and I couldn't pursue a movie career — which would have gone nowhere — and I became a really good comic and writer eventually, saving all my files and thoughts and things. I had to be prepared for that, because HBO was coming along, and about every two years — at my choice — I had to have another hour ready. So my having to stay on the road turned me into a g**damn good comedian. So there's a bright part of everything.


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