The idiot hugging the subway pole.
The gaggle of friends walking shoulder-to-shoulder down the street.
The self-absorbed texter who continues pecking away at the top of the subway stairs.
These, and many other offenders, are the rightful targets of the new book "NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette," (HarperCollins), which should be handed out to newcomers at every point of entry.
"If New York City were a game show," says author and artist Nathan W. Pyle, "the object of the game would be, 'Just stay out of my way.' "
Pyle, 31, moved to New York from Ohio in 2008, and it didn't take him long to grasp that essential rule.
"In New York, no one will think twice about looking at a man with a chicken on his head as long as they stay out of the way," Pyle says. "But someone texting on the phone is going to be the worst person in the world if they're just
standing in the middle of the street."
The book also serves as something of a field guide to the novice: How to recognize a street scam, how not to act when spotting a celebrity, how hustle will almost always outstrip ability.
"There are so many things you need to know to keep going here, to stay in the game," Pyle says. "Thinking, 'Oh, I'm really talented,' isn't enough. It's a war of attrition in this city, and you have to work really hard to stay here."
Still, Pyle says that in his experience, 9 out of 10 New Yorkers are helpful and polite; if anything, he thinks the city suffers when natives don't assert themselves.
It's a problem that hardly squares with the long-standing image of the typical New Yorker — loud, brash, outspoken — but Pyle theorizes that cellphones have turned us all inward, and we need to correct that.
"One rude person can make the entire subway car miserable," says Pyle — and here he's talking about the pole-huggers and the people who insist on blocking the doors.
In those cases, he urges us all to call the offenders out — politely, but firmly.
"Being assertive is a useful act for the entire city," he says. "If we would all speak up once in a while, I really think we would turn the tide."
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