My First Time… Watching ‘Amadeus’

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On Saturday night I watched Stephen King's Pet Sematary for the first time. Today, I'm totally switching gears and watching Miloš Forman's epic, Amadeus. Before discovering that the film is celebrating its 30th anniversary today, I had never even heard of this classic, which apparently scooped up eight Oscars that year, including Best Actor for F. Murray Abraham, Best Director, and Best Picture. My co-workers have assured me it's magic and that I'm in for something special. Let's see if they're right, shall we?

2:17: Whoa, Mozart dies right away? Nah, it can't be.

4:34: Butt!

8:16: Ah, okay I see. That's not Mozart. That's his Italian rival, Antonio Salieri, who just tried to kill himself. I suspect drama afoot.

17:07: Jesus, lady, push your boobs up a little more why don't ya?

26:30: Wait, wait, wait, hold everything… Is that Principal Rooney?!

36:30: Damn, Wolfie was a cocky bastard.

59:22: Whoa! It's Misery all over again! So Wolfgang never made copies of his music? Yikes, you can see the evil gears turning in Salieri's mind.

1:03:00: Whoa! I was NOT expecting Salieri to proposition Miss My Boobs Are Constantly Spilling Out Of My Dress. She doesn't seem like his type.

1:07:38: Rejected by Salieri? Well, that's just about the most embarrassing thing ever.

1:23:20: The list of things that absolutely terrify Olivia:

1:25:34: The list of things that absolutely break Olivia's heart:

• When Rachel finds out Ross slept with someone else when they were "on a break"
• When people accidentally drop their food on the floor
• When Greg Kelley isn't on all of the news channels
• The fact that Jeopardy is only a half-hour long
• SAD OLD MEN

1:53:35: Awww, he's finally having his moment! (Team Salieri.)

1:59:18: Yeesh, this movie took a sharp turn for the sad after Wolfie's dad, Leopold, croaks.

2:21:16: Wolfie's final fuck-you to his late pops. 

On that note…

Final Thoughts: This movie was truly epic. It was visually breathtaking, heart-warming, heart-breaking, and towards the end, incredibly sad. I got an unexpected history lesson, as I never knew anything about Mozart's personal life prior to this, or that he had a rival. Or that he had an horrendously annoying laugh. This movie truly deserved all of the Oscars that year, and even though it took up three hours of my workday, it didn't feel too long in the slightest… Well, that's not totally true. Forman could have shaved a solid half hour off this baby. It's still pretty perfect nonetheless.

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Photos: Orion Pictures/Amazon Prime Instant Video

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