Each Christmas Day, my family would gather to celebrate the birth of someone who played a very important role in our lives: My grandmother. Her birthday is December 26, and since we're Jewish, it was by far the easiest time to get everyone together (no scheduling conflicts!). And besides, what else were we going to do that day?
Growing up in the Boston 'burbs, many of my friends celebrated Christmas, and of course we were completely surrounded by it culturally. We had one family tradition, piling into the back of my dad's car to drive around looking at lights. In school chorus we'd sing the usual seasonal hits, and some years I'd head up the street to help my friend's family decorate their tree. But part of why Kyle singing "A Jew on Christmas" on South Park is so funny is because it's so acutely observed; Christmas felt like something that happened everywhere around you, but not to you. In our contemporary, diverse (and largely secular) society, if there was one thing that made you feel "other," it was Christmas.
But what about Christmas movies? They play a huge role in the pop culture firmament, and some are very good. Should Jews avoid them like an Old Testament plague, or is okay to get excited by some each year? Does embracing holiday movies alleviate part of our seasonal displacement, or reflect back on it? And what about the identity confusion of growing up on specials like Rudolph and the original Grinch Who Stole Christmas, fully aware that it's not your holiday being stolen? What is an appropriate relationship between American Jews and the Christmas movies so unavoidable this time of year?
Oy. So many questions. So like any good Jewish boy, I asked a rabbi.
"I do feel there are movies which might not be meaningful for most Jews, particularly movies which rely on the religious themes of Christmas," says Rabbi Darcie Crystal, a rabbi at Tamid: The Downtown Synagogue. "However, as an American, there are many films I grew up with — A Christmas Story, for instance — which may be set over Christmas or rely on imagery of Christmas celebrations, but embody universal messages and themes that we can all appreciate."
She notes that American Jews are "full participants in modern society. Our pop culture, which includes classic Christmas movies, Christmas songs (many, in fact written by Jews), and traditions, are part of the American civil religion. These elements do not necessarily connect to one faith or another in a religious way, but have become imbued with deep meaning in our society."
To Rabbi Crystal, the appropriate balance is struck when American Jews appreciate and preserve their own holidays while also respecting those of their neighbors. She says it's about maintaining "the tremendous pluralism of faith and culture in this country," while appreciating each other's contributions. "If together we can laugh, cry, or be moved by a movie and appreciate its universal value, then there is no harm, and in fact, perhaps there is benefit, to sharing in something festive during this holiday season."
If it's okay to enjoy certain holiday movies as an American Jew, then, how do you determine what make the cut? Obviously a great movie is a great movie, regardless of its themes or context. And a bad movie still sucks no matter how much Christmas spirit it's over-stuffed with. But beyond that, what makes one Christmas movie kosher for Jews but another something I wouldn't touch with a 20-foot Festivus pole?
In some ways it's easier to identify what keeps a movie off the list. If it could ever wind up on Lifetime, Oxygen or the Hallmark Channel? No. If Christmas sweaters are worn without being a comment on the character (I'm looking at you, Clark Griswold)? Nope. If it's marketed as "A Very Special ___" or something that will "Make You Believe"? Hell no. It has to stay on the right side of sentimentality vs. schmaltzy. Telling the nativity story or exploring overtly religious themes is an obvious no-go. No unexplained Christmas "miracles" and preferably no angels. And preferably it doesn't take place in a universe where Santa is real.
So what does work? It comes down to relatability. If it's too specific to the Christmas experience, we're left out (and likely disinterested to start with). But if it's about broader themes, broader drama or comedy, something with universal truths that don't run out with the Advent calendar – something we can see ourselves in, just maybe wearing less red and green – it could be worth spinning the dreidel on.
Though it certainly helps if the movie is actually good.
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