Coming Of Age In The Age Of Streaming: How Young Is Too Young For Rated-R Movies?

Over the weekend, Matt Zoller Seitz published a really charming essay over at RogerEbert.com about introducing his 11-year-old son and his friends to a beloved film. The piece caused a bitter firestorm in the comments section, though. What was so incendiary about a father lovingly sharing a classic film with a bunch of kids? The problem was that the movie was James Cameron's Aliens and that movie is rated R.

A heated debate broke out over whether or not Seitz was a "cool dad" or recklessly ruining the lives of the children at his son's slumber party. The best exploration of this comments section kerfluffle is Tasha Robinson's piece over at the Dissolve that concludes "There's no universal 'right age' for Aliens." I have no opinion on what parents should show their own children, but I do think specific films signify milestones for us. In fact, I'm particularly interested in when and how a child should watch Aliens because one of my favorite memories of childhood was watching that exact film with my own mother.

Now, I know I went on the record and said I first watched Aliens when I was a tween, but that's because I couldn't remember my precise age. In light of the controversy, I did the research and figured out that my mother would have received the Alien trilogy on VHS sometime between 1993 and early 1995. It went unwatched for somewhere between six and eighteen months. So, I must have been somewhere between 9 and 12 years old. I think I was 10 — possibly 11? So, if you think Aliens was inappropriate to show a room full of 11 year olds, then you probably think my sweet mother should be retroactively arrested for child abuse.

Seitz lays out his reasoning for screening the film in his piece, but why did my mother — who is not a seasoned film critic — think it was okay to show me these films at such a nubile age?

I liked science fiction movies and these ranked as some of the best science fiction films of all time. So, she presumed that I would enjoy them.
She considered the films art — well, she considered Ridley Scott's original Alien to be art — and my mother's position on art is that it's for all ages.
We were watching it in a safe environment, meaning our home, and if I ever felt scared, we could turn it off.
As someone who was raised in a household that was full of adults — I was born late in my parents' marriage and my older siblings all have between 17 and 14 years on me — I had been consistently exposed to mature films and media. So, Aliens wasn't too much of a stretch.
Most importantly, my mother would be able to see what I was upset or confused by and she could immediately discuss it with me.

My mother never said "You can't watch rated-R movies," to me; she said, "You can't watch rated-R movies without telling me." My mother didn't want to shield me from the horrors of the world, but she did want to guide me. Still, I did occasionally break the rules — and sometimes I was caught. I was grounded for a week when my mom found out I was watching Absolutely Fabulous, a television show rife with sexual references and jokes about drug use, without telling her.

Still, she understood that kids wanting to watch "R-rated" was as much a part of growing up in America as playing kickball and chasing down ice cream trucks. The first time we see rated R content is as much a milestone of maturity as losing a tooth or getting your first kiss. This whole debate about Aliens and what is and isn't appropriate for kids is forgetting that children have always tried to see things before they were ready, and it's easier for them than ever before.

There's often been debate about how the proliferation of online pornography has changed the way kids learn about human sexuality, but that extends to good old fashioned grown up movies, too. Netflix might have parental blocks, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be very easy for a tween who asked for the password so they could watch one rated PG-13 movie to sneak in again and check out Wetlands, Blue Is The Warmest Color or Pulp Fiction. Most people have their HBO Go, Hulu Plus, and Amazon Prime passwords saved in their logins, and that means it's decidedly simple for a child to have a wealth of mature subject matter at their fingertips.

When I think about trying to sneak peeks at R-rated films as a kid, I was often thwarted by scheduling or availability. Now, you can stream anything whenever you want. Passwords are saved or written down in a handy place. Profiles can be hacked. So, is the deeper question not whether or not parents should show kids certain shows and films, but should your streaming device?

In the age of streaming, watching your first R-rated film might not mean as much as it did when the barriers were harder to overcome. What will that mean for future generations of kids?

Either way, Aliens is a great film. [Where to Stream Aliens]

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